What Do Amish Do On Their Wedding Night?

Ah, the million-dollar question! While we can’t know for sure what each individual Amish couple does on their wedding night, we do know that they value privacy and intimacy just like any other newlyweds. Traditionally, the couple will spend time alone in their own bedroom or a private cabin provided by the community. However, unlike most modern couples, they likely won’t have a television to binge-watch or a fancy hotel room to enjoy – instead, they’ll focus on building a strong foundation for their marriage through conversation and physical intimacy. So while the specifics may be a mystery, one thing’s for sure – the Amish wedding night is all about starting their marriage off on the right foot!
What Do Amish Do On Their Wedding Night?

Amish Customs Before the Wedding Night

Before the big wedding day, the Amish have some customs that they follow to make the union more sacred and enjoyable. The first thing the couple does after getting engaged (which is usually only a few months before the wedding date) is that they start their premarital counseling. The counseling helps them understand the dynamics of a functional marriage. Additionally, the counseling helps the couple to know what they need to do to make their marriage a success.

The second big custom before the wedding night involves a pre-wedding event called “Kroki.” It’s a time where the bride’s family hosts a “pre-wedding” party during which the bride receives gifts from the community. Kroki is somewhat similar to a Western-style bridal shower. The bride comes into the room, and the women of the community line up to give gifts. Afterward, the guests enjoy food and drink and generally celebrate the upcoming union.

Preparing for the Big Night

Before the big night, Amish couples are often led through a process of counseling and premarital guidance by their minister. A sound foundation of faith, communication, and mutual understanding is recommended before taking the big plunge. In Amish culture, taking time to prepare for marriage is valued and celebrated. Couples are often reminded that in marriage, they will be building a life together and this requires open communication, patience, love, and understanding.

  • Brides and grooms exchange vows during the wedding ceremony, often in front of the beaming congregation of friends, family, and community members.
  • The reception that follows is a time of celebration, feasting, and dancing.
  • As the day comes to an end, Amish newlyweds retire to their own private quarters, usually a room in the groom’s family home
  • The couple spends their first night together, often quiet, sweet, and expectant of their new roles as husband and wife.

Although quite reserved in public, Amish newlyweds see the wedding night as the beginning of a new chapter in their lives- the beginning of their journey as a family. While the night is private and intimate, it is a celebration of their new roles in life together and a reflection of the foundation that has been set through preparation and the support of the larger Amish community.

The Wedding Ceremony and Reception

Amish weddings are often held in the bride’s parents’ home or a nearby barn. The wedding usually takes place on a Tuesday or Thursday, as these are traditional days of rest in Amish communities, and the ceremony is conducted in German, the traditional language of the Amish. The bride wears a simple white dress with a prayer covering on her head, while the groom wears a black suit and hat.

After the ceremony, guests are treated to a hearty meal, usually consisting of traditional Pennsylvania Dutch dishes. There is no dancing or drinking, and the music is usually provided by a group of musicians playing simple instruments like the accordion and the guitar. The wedding day is seen as a time for reflecting on the importance of family and community and celebrating the love and commitment of the newlyweds.

  • Tip: Don’t be afraid to ask questions or strike up a conversation with Amish wedding guests. They are usually quite friendly and eager to share their traditions with outsiders.
  • Fun fact: Amish weddings typically involve a lot more food and guests than the typical American wedding. One wedding we attended had over 400 guests and lasted from early morning until late at night!

What Happens After the Reception?

After the reception, the Amish bride and groom typically head back to the bride’s family home or their own home. The newlyweds may spend some time alone together, but they do not consummate the marriage on their wedding night. In fact, the couple will likely sleep in separate beds or even separate rooms. This is because the Amish tradition stresses the importance of getting to know one’s partner and building a strong emotional connection before engaging in physical intimacy.

Instead of immediately jumping into the physical aspect of their relationship, the Amish couple spends time getting to know each other and building a deeper bond. They may have conversations about their values, beliefs, hopes and dreams, and goals for the future. These conversations can be playful and lighthearted or serious and insightful. The goal is to establish a strong foundation of trust and understanding that can withstand the challenges that come with married life. Ultimately, the Amish see physical intimacy as the culmination of a relationship that is built on strong emotional connections and mutual respect.

  • Key takeaway: The Amish prioritize building a strong emotional connection before engaging in physical intimacy.
  • Real-life example: Imagine spending your wedding night playing games, talking, and building a connection with your partner instead of feeling pressure to engage in physical activity.

Overall, the Amish approach to post-reception activities emphasizes the importance of building a strong and lasting foundation for a healthy marriage. By prioritizing emotional connection and mutual respect over physicality, the Amish set the stage for a marriage that can withstand the test of time.

The Importance of Sexual Purity in the Amish Community

Within the Amish community, sexual purity is highly valued and regarded as an essential part of marriage. Before marriage, Amish couples are expected to remain chaste and abstain from all sexual activities. This includes physical contact beyond holding hands and embraces that are not too intimate. The Amish believe that sexual purity is a way of showing respect and reverence for the gift of sexuality that God has bestowed upon them.

Adultery and premarital sex are strictly forbidden, and those who engage in such acts risk being shunned by the community. In the past, those who violated these rules would be excommunicated from the community, but in recent years, more Amish communities have chosen to forgive and support those who seek redemption. Despite this, the importance of sexual purity remains a cornerstone of Amish beliefs and practices.

Celebrating Marriage in the Amish Tradition

When an Amish couple marries, they do so with the intention of it being a lifelong commitment. This commitment is celebrated in a unique way, following Amish traditions. One of the most important aspects of an Amish wedding is the exchange of vows which reflects their dedication to each other and to God.

After the ceremony, the celebration becomes a time for the entire community to come together. The newlyweds are showered with gifts, and there is plenty of food, music, and dancing. Most importantly, the wedding night is a time for the couple to move forward in their commitment to each other, and they do so with the blessing of their community and their faith. The Amish believe that marriage is an unbreakable bond, and they look forward to starting their life together with this kind of solid foundation.

So there you have it, folks. As we’ve found out, the Amish follow a traditional and modest approach when it comes to their wedding night rituals. While some may find it puzzling or even boring, it’s important to remember that every culture and community has its own unique customs and practices. At the end of the day, what matters most is the love and commitment shared between the newlyweds, not the glitz and glamour of the celebration. Whether you’re Amish or not, let’s all raise a glass and toast to love, family, and happy beginnings. Cheers!

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